Happy Mother's Day, Dear One

To all of you who have watched your belly grow, who have noted every change in your body, who have thrown up til you thought you would lose your very stomach and/or stayed nauseated the rest of the day; to those whose backs have ached from carrying your loveable load, who have crashed in utter exhaustion only to be awakened about 5 times in the night to get up and potty; to those who have felt every tiny flutter, who have been jabbed in the ribs; to those who have labored and endured and delighted in all the preparation of motherhood, I applaud you.  Happy Mother’s Day.

To you who have held your precious one, soothing his or her tears simply with your voice and kisses and hugs, who have fed in the night, who have loved and loved and loved each moment of loving, I really do applaud you.  I am well aware of your sacrifices.  And you deserve to be honored. 

But in this moment, I also want to applaud you, my dear sisters, whose arms ache on Mother’s Day.  And I want to say to you, Happy Mother’s Day.  You deserve it.  You have not been forgotten. 

Though each loss is different and subject to a million specifics for your individual situations, I am certain that some of you will rejoice on Mother’s Day because of your own mother, and some will enjoy celebrations because of the children you are raising, but I am also certain that on this Sunday, some of your hearts will sting because of the precious one who is not with you.  Some of you have miscarried, experienced stillbirth, or lost precious ones who lived short lives.  Your heart still grieves for your child and your arms still ache to hold her.  And today, I just want to honor your mothering of your children, ALL of your children. 

People tend to disregard a woman’s motherhood if she doesn’t have a child right beside her.  Even we Christians are quick to say that life starts at conception, but then turn around and act like a woman is only a mother after delivery.  That’s crazy.  Both life and motherhood start at conception.  Obviously, there are many joys and responsibilities that only come after delivery, but there are also many joys and responsibilities of pregnancy.  No woman who has lost her child needs to be reminded that there are gobs of things that she will never get to take part in.  She is well aware of what she has lost.

 So, I applaud all you mommies, the ones rejoicing and the ones grieving and the ones doing both.  And on Sunday, I will rejoice in the lives of ALL of your children.  I will remember you, and I will pray for you.

Happy Mother’s Day.